The giant hurt
Katie Barry
Issue date: 3/6/07 Section: News
They see him all the time on the television, but never at family gatherings.
"He has cousins that adore him," said Permelia Toney-Boss, aunt to NBA center Shaquille O'Neal, at the Starbucks on campus. "They hoped that they would one day meet and he'd sign their collectors' cards they had kept since they were little. When they realized he wanted nothing to do with them, they tore up the cards."
Toney-Boss works in the Rutgers-Newark physical plant building, next door to her brother and father to O'Neal, Joseph Toney, who drives the donation truck for the Goodwill Home and Mission Center. O'Neal has made public statements, saying that he wants nothing to do with his biological father. He allots full credit to Phillip Harrison, the man that came into his life when he was a baby.
According to Toney-Boss, over the course of ten years, the family tried to keep in communication with O'Neal, but was denied. Toney-Boss, her children and relatives have told their story to talk-show host Ricki Lake, and a slew of reporters, but what gets the most press is what the famous basketball player says about his father, which neglects their hurt.
"He accuses his father of abandoning him, but he's just being brainwashed," Toney Boss decries. "How can he form judgments about us if we've met never? I don't want his money. Not a penny. I just want him to be a part of the family."
Her family consists of over 40 people, who feel they are victims of circumstance, and do not feel deserving of the indifference shown by O'Neal in the media. They do not feel entitled to his wealth, but rather a little respect.
"How can he talk so badly about us if we've never met? I'd be curious to see why it is that he doesn't want to meet, and how it is he came to this decision that we're 'bad.' It's just crazy. We're good people. The family was upset when Shaq didn't show up to my mother's funeral. She held the whole family together, and he didn't come, send flowers, or anything. She didn't even get her dying wish to rub his bald head."
Both sides have used music as an outlet to express their grief. On one of his rap records, O'Neal delves into the depth of his paternal pain with the song "Biological Didn't Bother" on his debut rap album, grossing. Toney-Boss's son Jacob, who also goes by Stroke One on the website Afta Death, wrote the song "Family Affair" available on Myspace.com. Some of the lyrics are:
Let me tell you story about a this guy named Joe/wicked on the court/got caught up in the streets/life went downhill/ Joe started messin' with drugs/heavy sentence from the judge/the ill part is that his son grew up to be Shaquille O'Neal/blood is thicker than wine/it seems that money mixes things up all the time/it's a family affair/it just got personal/you fire we fire back/your biological didn't bother/you need to check your facts.
Despite the warring of musical lyrics, Toney-Boss has kept quiet about her famous nephew, but if people ask, she'll tell them. She put her plans of getting her bachelors in psychology on hold, when there were some illnesses in the family. The load of a full-time job, night classes, and tending to a family became too much. She plans on returning after life settles down, but for now, family trumps.
The mother of seven and grandmother of sixteen said, "We have a strong sense of family. We have big gatherings and cook, talk, play games, eating and laughing a lot. We are so close. I only wish my nephew could see this, and be a part of it."
They want a chance to meet and patch up the past. They want their blood line recognized, and their distant family member to be accepting…for their sake and his.
"If Shaq would get to know his father," his aunt supposed, "he would be a better free-throw shooter. His father Joe won a scholarship from the Boys Club in Newark, which Shaq recently had the honor of renaming. You hear how much he does for the other kids, with charities and city programs, yet he wants nothing to do with the kids in his family- his own blood relatives! It's just disheartening."
"He has cousins that adore him," said Permelia Toney-Boss, aunt to NBA center Shaquille O'Neal, at the Starbucks on campus. "They hoped that they would one day meet and he'd sign their collectors' cards they had kept since they were little. When they realized he wanted nothing to do with them, they tore up the cards."
Toney-Boss works in the Rutgers-Newark physical plant building, next door to her brother and father to O'Neal, Joseph Toney, who drives the donation truck for the Goodwill Home and Mission Center. O'Neal has made public statements, saying that he wants nothing to do with his biological father. He allots full credit to Phillip Harrison, the man that came into his life when he was a baby.
According to Toney-Boss, over the course of ten years, the family tried to keep in communication with O'Neal, but was denied. Toney-Boss, her children and relatives have told their story to talk-show host Ricki Lake, and a slew of reporters, but what gets the most press is what the famous basketball player says about his father, which neglects their hurt.
"He accuses his father of abandoning him, but he's just being brainwashed," Toney Boss decries. "How can he form judgments about us if we've met never? I don't want his money. Not a penny. I just want him to be a part of the family."
Her family consists of over 40 people, who feel they are victims of circumstance, and do not feel deserving of the indifference shown by O'Neal in the media. They do not feel entitled to his wealth, but rather a little respect.
"How can he talk so badly about us if we've never met? I'd be curious to see why it is that he doesn't want to meet, and how it is he came to this decision that we're 'bad.' It's just crazy. We're good people. The family was upset when Shaq didn't show up to my mother's funeral. She held the whole family together, and he didn't come, send flowers, or anything. She didn't even get her dying wish to rub his bald head."
Both sides have used music as an outlet to express their grief. On one of his rap records, O'Neal delves into the depth of his paternal pain with the song "Biological Didn't Bother" on his debut rap album, grossing. Toney-Boss's son Jacob, who also goes by Stroke One on the website Afta Death, wrote the song "Family Affair" available on Myspace.com. Some of the lyrics are:
Let me tell you story about a this guy named Joe/wicked on the court/got caught up in the streets/life went downhill/ Joe started messin' with drugs/heavy sentence from the judge/the ill part is that his son grew up to be Shaquille O'Neal/blood is thicker than wine/it seems that money mixes things up all the time/it's a family affair/it just got personal/you fire we fire back/your biological didn't bother/you need to check your facts.
Despite the warring of musical lyrics, Toney-Boss has kept quiet about her famous nephew, but if people ask, she'll tell them. She put her plans of getting her bachelors in psychology on hold, when there were some illnesses in the family. The load of a full-time job, night classes, and tending to a family became too much. She plans on returning after life settles down, but for now, family trumps.
The mother of seven and grandmother of sixteen said, "We have a strong sense of family. We have big gatherings and cook, talk, play games, eating and laughing a lot. We are so close. I only wish my nephew could see this, and be a part of it."
They want a chance to meet and patch up the past. They want their blood line recognized, and their distant family member to be accepting…for their sake and his.
"If Shaq would get to know his father," his aunt supposed, "he would be a better free-throw shooter. His father Joe won a scholarship from the Boys Club in Newark, which Shaq recently had the honor of renaming. You hear how much he does for the other kids, with charities and city programs, yet he wants nothing to do with the kids in his family- his own blood relatives! It's just disheartening."
Viewing Comments 1 - 4 of 4
the queen
posted 7/29/07 @ 1:31 PM EST
Sad story....they're all in my prayers.
RODERIC SELLS TWYMAN
posted 4/10/08 @ 3:34 PM EST
WHEN WILL WE REALIZE THE PRIZE IN GIVING
WHEN WILL WE FIND THE JOY IN LIVING
FOR ONE ANOTHER
YOU ARE MY BROTHER
CAN'T YOU SEE
YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME
ALL I WANT TO BE
IS LOVED. (Continued…)
James Underwood
posted 6/12/08 @ 5:05 PM EST
Leave Shaq alone and go smoke some more crack. His father let him down, now you want him to give you money. He's worked hard for his, why don't you try it? He has no obligation to see or speak to you. (Continued…)
joe toney
posted 7/25/08 @ 11:29 PM EST
its brothers like you who make it bad for fathers like me. you dont have the slightest idea of what you are talking about you need to read the article from the observer news paper you might get a better idea instead of trying to down people you need to take a look at yourself and how you make statements that you know nothing about. (Continued…)
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